How to Talk to Your Parents About Your Mental Health
Talking to your parents about your mental health can feel awkward, scary, or overwhelming. You might worry that they won’t understand, won’t take you seriously, or might react in a way that you’re not expecting. These fears are valid. Many parents didn’t grow up speaking about mental health openly, and some may not know what to say or how to help at first.
You Deserve Support
But here’s something to remember: if someone you cared about was struggling and came to you for help, you wouldn’t be angry or disappointed with them. You’d likely be glad that they trusted you! Most parents feel the same way, even if they don’t always show it perfectly, or right away. Reaching out gives them a chance to support you, and gives you a chance to feel better.
It can also be helpful to reframe the conversation. If you were struggling with science class, you could approach your parents to say, “I’m having trouble with science, and I need extra help. Can you help me find resources or a tutor?” Your mental health deserves the same care.
Starting the conversation can be the hardest part, but you aren’t alone. Here is a guide that can help you walk through how to prepare, what to say, and how to get support afterward.
Choose a Good Time and Place to Talk
If your goal is to have a real, honest conversation, timing matters. Try to talk when you’re not arguing or rushing. Choose a comfortable and private place whether that’s on a walk, in the car, in your backyard, or on your couch. You can also give them a heads up that you want to talk to them so that you both have time to prepare. Conversations about mental health tend to go better when people feel safe, calm, and focused.
Plan What To Say
While you don’t need to have a script, having a few key points written down or top of mind can help you feel more confident. You can start simple with a sentence like, “I’ve been struggling and I think I need to talk to someone,” or “I’ve been having a hard time and I think I need some support.”
Discuss things like:
- Exactly how you’ve been feeling (numb, anxious, sad, stressed, etc.)
- How long you’ve been feeling this way
- How it affects you day-to-day (sleep, school, friendships, etc.)
- What you think might help (talking to someone, changing your routine, etc. You get to choose how much you share and what boundaries you want to set. This also helps you feel better about not having all the answers. Another strategy is to use “I” statements to share how you’re feeling without blaming anyone.
You can use statements like:
- “I’ve been feeling really anxious and it makes it hard to concentrate.”
- “I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed lately because I’m feeling sad.”
- “I’ve been thinking that I would like to talk to a professional about my mental health.”
These kinds of statements make it easier for your parents to understand what you’re going through without feeling blamed.
Prepare for Different Reactions
Your parents are human and can react in all kinds of ways. They could be supportive, confused, overwhelmed, or unsure. The first reaction is not their final answer; it’s just a starting point.
They may need some time to process their own emotions around what you have told them, and then come back to you with a more level head. You can leave the door open to further conversation. If they shut you down, you can try again later, or move on to another adult, like a teacher or counselor.
Sometimes, parents might not be the first or right option. If you’re worried they might react in a harmful way, you can talk to another trusted adult like a school counselor, a teacher, a relative, a mental health hotline, or your family doctor.
Give Them Options for Next Steps
Parents often want to help but don’t always know what you need. Bringing a few ideas can help the conversation flow more easily. These might include: talking to your school’s guidance counselor, scheduling a check-up with your family doctor, asking for support with creating better routines, adjusting your workload, or asking them to regularly check-in with you.
If you’d like to talk to a professional or coach, you could say, “I think it would help me to talk to a professional about what I’m feeling.”
Free Mental Health Support
If you’re looking for support that is accessible and teen-friendly, BounceBack Ontario is a free program where you can work with one of our mental health BounceBack® coaches, who will help you learn skills to improve your well-being in up to six telephone sessions. You pick the topics you want to work on from our nine booklets, and your coach supports and encourages you along the way. Think of it as having a personal guide through the program.
Reaching out takes courage. Talking about your mental health and advocating for yourself is a big step. No matter how the first conversation goes, keep going. You deserve support.
